I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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