i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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