We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
