Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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