i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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