Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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