All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
