mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I AM VODKA MAN
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
