1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
