When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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