did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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