I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
