god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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