i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
