8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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