He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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