There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
