I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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