Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
