WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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