Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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