You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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