I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
