You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
