I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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