Whatcha textin bout Willis?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize