Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Houston, we have a squirter
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
