If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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