I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize