Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
