you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
