When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
