Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize