That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
