Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
