Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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