that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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