Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize