Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
