just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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