Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
