let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
