Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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