Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
