ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
