I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Boobs are out for the taking
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
