You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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