i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
