I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
P.S. I can't hear my feet
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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