i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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