how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
