her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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