sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
