never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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