Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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