I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
