What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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