I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What drink are we having for lunch?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
